Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Loneliness, Rain and My Fragile Mood.

To be “alone” is like an curse and boring as well. I have enforced draconian ‘loneliness’ unto myself as I came back to my home town at the start of week itself . The two day Telangana Bandh has made me to travel back to my Home town . All the day was at home all alone and my parents are now in USA. To be alone at home is bit boring as it tests your patience . Loneliness is like wolf at the door step ready to pounce . Physical absence of our loved ones can cause lot of sorrow at times.  As I came back so early now I have to bear it until I get back to work on Monday . 

To be alone inside the four walls , with no love being expressed or received is an big punishment . I often have to hold back the emotions. Not just emotions, these days I am gasping with my daily chores as well. I feel like an small boy left alone in middle of forest and asked upon to survive on his own . I felt loneliest on the train coming back home during travel from HYD as I know an empty four walls awaits me. Now I look forward and wish this emptiness (loneliness) to end ASAP.

As my parents are in USA , these days are tough.  Couldn’t cope up with the reason of not being with parents during my stay at my home town. I had to woke up to emptiness and to a silent deserted house with no one around. No one to ask if I slept well , No one to smile at , No one to caress me with affection . The pain of being ‘alone’ is back.

 Being in HYD most of the time I barely knew the neighbours. With all the problems , managing the house is not an easy task as I had felt all these years. Simple things like shopping at the Kirana (Grocery) store, finding laundry and the bedding and linen was like an gigantic task…Ufffffff… the thousand and ten things a Mother/ Woman does to make her home …. Managing a House, Is not an easy task as we Men assume .

Even though I  consider myself a good cook , now milk boiling too has become an gigantic task for me . Its not that I dunno how to make it boil , but yesterday I got distracted and forgot that I had put Milk on stove . I recollected only when burnt smell has surrounded me . That made me to rush towards kitchen , knocking down few things on my way, only to find totally burnt and blackened vessel . The charred burnt smell in kitchen was so strong that I had gasped for breath . When you are alone even small things like this one can dent your fragile mood .

But as day passed on, Mother nature was kind to me and sent her beloved Rain to make my Mood. What this Rain has done to my lonely mood is inexpressible. Thank You My Rain. By evening rain took over the city and it poured until early this morning. I love the sound of water . I sat in the balcony with Old Hindi film songs playing in background , watching the Rain drops ,sipping Hot Tea and reading  Jeffrey Archers Novel, ‘A Prisoner of Birth’ .

Yesterday when I woke up from Noon nap , the weather was so cold and I felt like tasting hot Bhajjiya ( eatery made of green chillies) . Luckily, I had green chillies in my refrigerator.  So I decided pampering my taste buds with hot Bhajjiyas .  I really had to sweat it out in kitchen , but made myself a good ones, it tasted very HOT(spicy) . 

As I ate them my tongue was on FIRE and my nose started to run, hankie was of no help . Though I enjoyed it while eating,  little did I know then the aftermath effects of green chillies.  Yesterday while eating Bhajjiya,  the FIRE was on my tongue , but today morning the same FIRE was somewhere else in back Haha… The POWER of the green chillies was intolerable this morning. Lolllll …..

With overnite Rain , The weather is so gorgeous this morning, its cloudy, chilly and  bit windy. I wud like to  take the advantage of this beautiful weather. So I wanna get off from my Laptop and play on my favourite  Old Hindi film songs while I  prepare myself a Hot lunch.

P.S ::  I normally take my personal feelings only on to Facebook wall and never bring it on to my Blog. Recently one of my friend suggested me to write few on neutral topics and asked me to go less on Politics . Heeding to his advice I dare to publish this post  on my Blog (and on Facebook simultaneously) .

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